Auntie madder, Auntie madder.
That made Auntie madder than she’d ever been before.

Then she started to scrub the interlocking tile
She thought they’d come clean, after awhile.
She did get some, but she couldn’t get more.
That made Auntie madder than she’d even been before.

Auntie madder, Auntie madder.
That made Auntie madder than she’d ever been before.

She got out the heat gun and turned it on high
She lifted every block with fire and a pry.
‘Til under the tile she found splatter score.
That made Auntie madder than she’d ever been before.

Auntie madder, Auntie madder.
That made Auntie madder than she’d ever been before.

She got the nail pullers and found a saw.
Once a floor—now a gaping maw.
But down below? breakfast splatters galore.
That made Auntie madder than she’d ever been before.

Auntie madder, Auntie madder.
That made Auntie madder than she’d ever been before.

Auntie was determined, she wouldn’t give in.
Down in the basement, now past her chin.
Just late last year a team went to explore.
That made Auntie madder than she’d even been before.

Auntie madder, auntie madder
That made Auntie madder than she’d ever been before.

Auntie’s now gone, the team is too.
The house, the neighborhood, including the zoo.
It’s as though space fabric had suddenly been tore.
When Auntie got madder than she’s ever been before.

Auntie madder, Auntie madder.
When Auntie got madder than she’d ever been before

©R. Bartly Betts, 2001