Kids are unpredictable. You never know how far up
the wall they'll drive you.

My idea of a balanced diet is chocolate in both hands.

Senility isn't so bad. You keep getting to meet new friends.

Woman does not live by bread alone.
She needs buttering up once in a while.

The trouble with making intelligent suggestions is that you're
apt to be appointed to carry them out. —Gene Brown

Teachers love to hear the pitter patter of little feet... going out to recess.

At my house, I serve only three meals: Frozen, Microwave, Take out.

I don't have wrinkles, I just have more detail than most.

Marriages may be made in heaven but so are thunder and lightning.

Rules for the Ark:

• Be kind to one another
• Watch out for the little guy
• Don't rock the boat
• Absolutely NO snacking

Did you ever wonder how many figs Eve tried on before
she said, I'll take this one?"